SCENE FROM JUST SHOOT ME

THE INTERVIEW

WRITTEN BY

LORI H. SCHWARTZ

AND

CLAUDETTE POWELL

REPRESENTED BY THE ARTIST'S AGENCY, MIKE WISE.

ACT II

SCENE F

BLUSH COVER: WHETTING YOUR MAN'S SEXUAL APPETITE

INT. ELLIOT'S PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO -(EVENING 3)

MAYA AND ELLIOT ENTER THE STUDIO. THERE IS AN ELEGANTLY SET TABLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM WITH CANDLES AND A FORMALLY DRESSED WAITER. THE BIG BREASTED MINOAN STATUE SITS PROMIENTLY BEHIND THE TABLE.

MAYA

What1s all this?
WAITER

(WITH A VERY HEAVY FAKE FRENCH ACCENT)

Compliments of Ms. Brown.
ELLIOT
Wow.
HE TOUCHES THE TABLE.
ELLIOT cont'd
Real plates.
MAYA
I wonder where Tilda is?
ELLIOT TASTES THE CHAMPAGNE.

ELLIOT

Mmmm. This is great champagne.
MAYA TAKES A SIP OF CHAMPAGNE. THE WAITER LIFTS A COVER OFF A LAVISH TRAY OF OYSTERS, SHRIMP AND CRABS ON ICE. HE SETS DOWN THEIR PLATES. ELLIOT STARTS PICKING AT THE FOOD.

MAYA

Don't just start eating. That1s rude. We have to

wait for Tilda.

ELLIOT
It1s going to get cold.
MAYA
It1s oysters on ice.
ELLIOT
Oh. Then it1s going to get warm.
MAYA

(TO WAITER)

Excuse me, do you know when Miss Brown

will be joining us?

WAITER
Oh, she won1t be joining you tonight.

She sends her apologies.

MAYA
That1s strange.
ELLIOT
Let's eat then.
MAYA
Great. I still won1t get my interview.
MAYA STARTS TO GET UP, BUT THE WAITER CUTS HER OFF WITH A TRAY LOADED WITH HUGE LOBSTERS, SUCCULENT VEGETABLES AND AUDACIOUS FRUIT. THE WAITER STARTS WHIPPING UP A CAVIAR ROULADE (CREPE).
ELLIOT
Wait. We might as well enjoy ourselves.

Whoa! Is that foie gras - and caviar roulade?

MAYA
Caviar?
ELLIOT
Yeah. Come on. Grab a bib.
THE WAITER LIGHTS A FLAMING DISH RIGHT IN FRONT OF MAYA1S FACE.

MAYA

I guess it would be a shame to waste all this food.

ELLIOT

Hell, yeah.
THE WAITER LIGHTS THE CANDLES ON THE TABLE. THE ROOM LIGHTS GO DIM.

MAYA

Oh - that1s not really necessary.
WAITER
Madame Brown insisted.
THE WAITER PULLS OUT A VIOLIN AND STARTS PLAYING 3SOME ENCHANTED EVENING.2

MAYA

Wait a minute. I see what1s going on here.
ELLIOT

(THROUGH A MOUTHFUL OF FOOD)

Yeah! There1s no drawn butter for the lobsters!
MAYA
No. Don1t you get it? The oysters, the passion 

fruit, the music...she1s trying to fix us up.


WAITER

(WITH A BASKET OF ROSES)

A rose for the mademoiselle?
ELLIOT

(LOOKS AT THE WAITER, THEN REALIZES)

Oh - so you told her you kinda dig me?


MAYA

No! I did not!
ELLIOT
Why don1t you just admit that you find me

attractive, and you knew I couldn1t resist good

food, and...

MAYA
...that is the most pompous, ridiculous thing I

have ever heard!


THE VIOLINIST LEANS IN CLOSELY AND PLAYS VERY LOUDLY OVER THEIR ARGUING.

ELLIOT

(TO WAITER)

Do you mind?
WAITER
Pardonnez moi.
THE WAITER SLINKS AWAY.

ELLIOT

I am not pompous!
MAYA
Oh really. Then what1s this?
MAYA PULLS OUT A SMALL MIRROR HANGING AROUND ELLIOT1S NECK.

ELLIOT

That1s for photography purposes! Besides, I

see you watching me with the models. You1re

jealous!

MAYA
It1s like driving past a train wreck!

I can1t help but look!

ELLIOT
You want to kiss me so bad, it hurts!
MAYA
I do not!
ELLIOT
Do too!
MAYA AND ELLIOT ARE IN EACH OTHERS FACES.


MAYA

Even if I did kind of sort of enjoy that one

kiss...

ELLIOT
...oh, you remember that kiss?
MAYA
Oh, and you don1t?
ELLIOT
Yeah. I remember it. As a matter of fact, I could 
even do it again.
MAYA
Fine. Go ahead. See if I care.
ELLIOT KISSES MAYA. THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER.

ELLIOT

See? That was no big deal.
BEAT. THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER. MAYA LOOKS AT THE GODDESS STATUE. SHE GRABS ELLIOT AND SWEEPS ALL THE DISHES OFF THE TABLE. THEY FALL TO THE FLOOR KNOCKING DOWN FOOD AND CAMERA EQUIPMENT. FLASHES START GOING OFF.